I am Ruined

I once had the opportunity to hear an amazing man named Kent Henry speak at a worship conference. He said something that struck my heart. He said, “I’m ruined for I’ve tasted the depths of worship.” 

I remember asking myself, “Has my life been ruined by the revelation of Christ’s love? Have I truly lost all things to gain Him? Has worship become the drive of my relationship with God? Or is ministry, position, and blessings the drive?” These questions rocked my world.  

You see, I was always under the impression that God wanted us to preach, reach, teach, and move in some sort of ministry. Basically doing, doing, doing, and going, going, going. Now, I am not saying that doing and going isn’t part of the Christian life, but it never hit me that worshiping God was more important to Him than what I accomplished for Him. I didn’t realize that worship was what God desired from me above everything else. So I began to seek the heart of God rather than the hand of God, and it absolutely revolutionized my life and outlook. I no longer made the Christian “duties” the priority. I made Him the priority. When He is the priority, then serving Him by doing “duties” becomes a natural overflow, not a religious ritual. Doing is the byproduct of being a worshiper. So as my outlook changed, I began to enter a season of my life that I call the M&M Dilemma (Mary & Martha Dilemma).

Luke 10:38-42

As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

Mary chose what was “better” in Jesus’ eyes. She chose worship over everything else she could have been doing for Jesus. This scripture revealed the importance of worship through Christ’ eyes and it changed me. If Jesus was more moved by Mary’s time at His feet than by Martha’s service for Him, then maybe I should spend my time doing what He desires rather than what I think He desires from me! It made me realize that although God calls us to many things, we are first and foremost called to worship Him. Everything flows from a heart of worship. If we’re not a worshiper first, then everything else we do for God becomes out of balance. God’s desire for us, more so than anything else, is that we would be awestruck by His presence. When we are captivated by Him everything else takes the back seat.  

Martha wasn’t doing anything wrong. As a matter of fact, we need to be like Martha at times, but not before we become like Mary. If working and doing become first, then they take the place of worshiping and being. 

Let me repeat that…If working and doing become first, then they take the place of worshiping and being. 

If working and doing come first, then we have not chosen what is best according to Jesus. Think about it, would you rather be with someone that is always doing things for you, but never simply spending time with you? No, we want someone who will drop everything to be with us no matter how much is going on. God always wants us to seek Him above seeking what we can do for Him. When He becomes the passion of our heart, we will truly know the passion of His heart, which is relationship above rituals.


*Taken from my book THE WORSHIP REVOLUTION available here.

I am a Speaker, Writer, Certified Leadership Coach with the John Maxwell Team, Musician, Artist, and most importantly Husband & Father! I would be honored to add value to you and help inspire you to be all that God created you to be!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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