As leader’s we have to understand how to help people through unmet expectations.

When an individual sets their sights on a specific expectation and is met with disappointment, the door to frustration and hopelessness opens up. Expectations are a great thing, but they can alter a person’s emotional state if not handled correctly. Many people have a hard time when their expectations don’t meet reality. This can cause a major breakdown in someone’s ability to keep advancing. The danger comes when frustration and bitterness start to dominate their thoughts and well-being. Instead of being able to deal with the outcome, people are disappointed to the point of despair, so they give up in their efforts.

Numerous studies by Professor Wolfram Shultz of Cambridge University have shown us the physical effects of unmet expectations. By not achieving a specific target, there is a decrease in a person’s dopamine level, resulting in an altered limbic mode, which controls an individual’s emotional behavior. This altered state, caused by low levels of dopamine, leads to increased anxiety and stress. Low levels of dopamine also cause the prefrontal cortex, responsible for focus and decision making, to decrease in functionality, leading to lower creativity and stifle problem solving abilities. The resulting emotional state decreases confidence, leading to further unmet expectations and the downward spiral continues on and on. Hope begins to fade away when an individual is emotionally consumed with unmet expectations. We must understand that unmet expectations will always exist on the journey of success. We have to continually encourage people to be driven by determination rather than being dominated by discouragement.

Here are a few thoughts about helping people through disappointments…

1. Help Them Extract Learning Lessons Through Their Experiences

Sit down with your people and coach them through the lessons they can learn when things don’t go the way they expected. This can learn to great insight if handled correctly.

2. Help Them Regain Their Focus For the Future

When unmet expectations plague us we can easily get unfocused. Help coach your people back to the future. Get them to focus on what is next. Take their eyes off the past and get them in forward thinking mode.

3. Help Them Let Go Of The Past

A leader must be an encourager. This means you have to reinforce courage in others. Past mistakes, failures, and disappointments paralyze people. Lift them up by providing positive feedback as you build their emotional well-being back up.